Curse of the Lull

That’s right my Lovies! We have our first SETBACK of this training cycle. Now with moving during a pandemic. We made the decision to put our things in storage in the previous state we were living in. So naturally when we actually find an apartment, we have to go pick up the rest of out things from storage. Which lead to us taking a FULL week off of the gym and running, and then my father spent a week and a half with us, so yea no gym with that either and a lot more drinking then I normally would enjoy in a day lol. So starting all over seems like the right thing to do since I have 147 days left till the race that is still only postpones and not canceled(fingers crossed). Not to mention having more health issues ( don’t worry I don’t have the rona) it just makes me not want to run at the moment…. How do you combat with lulls and setbacks?

Second Platform

It’s the F*****G Catalina Wine Mixer

Started a Journey page on Instagram. So for those loves who come across this, help keep me accountable and let’s grow strong mentally, physically, and spiritually.

(No I am not in an MLM, not I am not selling anything. I just want to meet like minded people who want to he the healthier, stronger version of themselves)

I run away from my anxiety and then I lift things up and put them down.

Yup you read that right. I like every other 30 year old here (if this is not you then You’re doing Amazing at life lol) I have a slew of things wrong with me. PTSD from a mentally abusive first marriage (yes I know I got married really young), which also left me with depression and horrible anxiety. Also like most people my age, I was old enough NOT to be on my parents insurance, so therefor I didn’t have coverage from the ages of 26-30 ( I finally found a job this year that offers amazing healthcare!). So what does one do when they have all these demons living in their mind? You find something to do to get out of that funk. Some turn to alcohol ( did that), some turn to drugs, (puff puff pass Check) and the list can go on and on with horrible and not so much healthy things to keep you busy but once I hit rock bottom while waking up from a hungover one night stand, I knew I had to change SOMETHING.

So I started working out and running. Now there is something about going on a LONG run, and I’m not talking about 20-3- minuets. No no no… I’m talking about those 7-8 milers, those long Saturday runs that are supposed to make or break your training, that just take you out of your head and really focus on your soul, spirit, and just puts everything out there and forces you to deal with it then and there because what else do you have to think about? I have found myself balling my eyes out on mile 5 and then laughing and smiling when I finished mile 9.

It’s such a primal and natural way of movement because since the beginning of time that’s what we needed to do to stay alive. Run. Most importantly though for me I needed to stay alive at all cost, and Going waaaaaaay back to my roots. I ran. That was my therapy, my doctor, my survival. Now I’m not saying that it is a cure all. HELL NO but it does the job instead of being on copious amounts of medication ( if you have to be then that’s okay too. Do you boo, I love you the way you are but that’s not my jive) . So yeah that’s what was on my mind of gratitude. lol


Level Achieved

So I finally bit the bullet and got myself the cheapest, most basic laptop. because I 1. needed it to finish school while me 10 year old desktop is in storage. 2. Didn’t want to be looking at my phone 24/7 like every other Gen Z and Millennial. So I figured a laptop would make me feel and look like I actually have something important to do. Haha Also! OH SHIT! Besides my remaining $4,000 in student loans( f**k you Sallie Mae!) and my beloved $9,776 and some change car payment, I AM MOTHER F**KING DEBT FREE!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooh! I don’t know if you know this but I for one have a HORRIBLE relationship with money. Just like most 30 something year olds now a days. Because school systems never taught us how to budget, or spend wisely, or how to be an adult. Way to go american school system. But I finally did it! I was able to pay off every single credit card, late payment, memory foam mattress. DONE, ZIP, NO MORE! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO does it feel so good! So yeah I’m feeling pretty boss now. I just have to keep training for this Half marathon I raised money for and pray that it doesn’t get rescheduled again ( because Rona do be like that sometimes) and continue my plans to become a personal trainer. So yea I’d say this is a pretty great level achievement: Adulting


And so it Begins..

Thanks for joining me on this pretty okay life journey to become a better human, and to get out of my own mind haha. Now I don’t have a set schedule or anything like that, but I am on a fitness/mind/body/soul/hippy dippy journey. So if that is something you like great! Welcome. If not great see you later, I have enough negativity in my mind, so I don’t need yours too.

Okay Love you BYYYYYEEE!!!!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton